Whether mental illness is a factor or not, these tips can help anyone who may be struggling.
1. There is a lot of “listening” needed that does not always require an urgent opinion, argument, or lengthy response. By listening and providing empathetic responses like touch, small responses, and validation, you are actively remaining an emotional support.
2. Let go of any sort of “timeframe” or idea of when this should all slow down or end. Expectations on your partner or their suffering usually tends to worsen your own suffering, [which in-turn will often be felt or noticed by your partner and impact them negatively as well].
3. Keep in mind, “it’s not personal” when an irrational reaction occurs, or if anger is misdirected toward you. It’s not okay of course, but it is not always personal. Things build up incredibly fast for someone experiencing worsened depression or anxiety and loved ones (family and friends) are sometimes the only ones they feel the most forgiving and comfortable with to NOT HAVE to suppress the emotion any longer. They are the same person you always loved, but they may be trusting that YOU are also loving them unconditionally.
4. Think of your partner as having “no energy.” When struggling in general or experiencing anxiety, depression or a post traumatic experience, a person's energy is spent unintentionally. With that in mind, they may not have enough energy to explain, argue, defend, or even to “repair” any damage right away. Patience is helpful
5. If you don’t already know their triggers, find a time when you are comfortable (not exhausted yourself), and when they also do not appear worked up, overly anxious or upset and ask your partner or family member a little more about what contributes to their moods and worries or simply ask “do you feel comfortable talking about earlier?”If they do not entirely know, we can now have a reason to be an “observer” when they are experiencing something. This helps us view it differently (switch perspective), in a helpful manner and find time to reflect at a later time.
6. It’s easy to get defensive if your loved one is reacting to their depressive or anxious mood. Defensiveness is an unhelpful trait among partners, even those not experiencing any increase in depression, anxiety or traumatic experiences. See if you can catch yourself becoming defensive and stop in your tracks. Pride is a popular monster in relationships. Defensiveness is rarely helpful.
7. Acknowledge their achievements or successful moments with you or anything going on.
8. Do enjoyable things together. Having something to look forward to drastically helps most individuals cope through harder times.
9. Collaboratively engage in self-care, such as making sure you both shower regularly, eat regularly and find time to relax whether together or separate. Doing this collaboratively takes away the attention put on to them, while also making sure we are taking care of ourselves. Developing some kind of routine help everyone.
10. Recover. After a situation arises where your partner has struggled and maybe we, ourselves, feel helpless in the situation or sometimes find that we may have actually contributed to it; it helps to find time to recover. After a scenario where your partner has experienced a worsened mood or has gotten caught in their anxiety, find time soon afterward to present a long hug, some physical touch, and quality time. These are a few of the love languages people appreciate when feeling uncertain or upset.
Your feelings matter, your energy matters, and your relationship matters! This blog does NOT intend for you to "suck it up" and take the blame, anger, misdirected emotion, and even be instructed “not to talk lengthy.” These tips suggest that the moment you realize what is going on, you may have the ability to be more aware or in-control than they do and as a partner. These tips are recommendations only and can be extremely helpful. Any specific questions or concerns? Please reach out to cardinalcounselor@gmail.com for more help.
コメント